Well Hasn't Everyone?

::source::

First of all, there is absolutely NO WAY I'm going to do this story justice.  But here we go:

This weekend, while driving in the car with family and friends, my kid pipes up with one of those Kid Questions.  You know the type.  Like "how many people have done a back flip on the moon?" or "what would kill you faster, lava or bullets?". 

Kid Questions are maddening because they come out of nowhere and have no real answer. 

So William (my 7 year old) says LOUDLY "Momma, have you ever pooped in your pants?".  And of course I said no.  Not since I was wearing diapers.  Most everyone else in the car giggled.

And this is where it gets interesting.

Because someone - a friend who will forever and ever remain nameless* - snaps his head around from the front seat and says "really? NEVER? not ever?"

To which I replied "um, no... have YOU?"

And it appears that yes, this man, this GROWN man admitted IN FRONT OF MIXED COMPANY that he has indeed RECENTLY pooped his undies.

After I stopped laughing, I said what we all would say "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?", and also "HOW???"

Apparently, this friend had lived his entire life hearing people exclaim (after a horrible bout with a stomach virus) that "it" was "coming out both ends".  But what he didn't realize was that they meant "it" was coming out both ends AT THE SAME TIME.  I'm serious.  He had no idea.

He found out the very hard way recently when he was hit with a stomach virus of his own.  The poor soul was busy with his FRONT end over the potty vomiting when his BACK end decided (SUDDENLY and WITHOUT WARNING) to join in the action.

Poor friend.

So, fast forward to 10pm last night.  I'm drifting off to sleep when I hear Dave's voice whisper out of the darkness "So, uh, Jimmy* shit his pants".

Hoooo boy I like to never got to sleep, what with all that giggling.

Because, as sad as it is, you have to admit, it's also awfully funny.


*Don't even TRY to make me tell you who it is.  I won't.  Not ever.  I know you're thinking you'll get me drunk someday and I'll let it slip, but NOT EVEN THEN.